Remodel your destiny

Chapter 5 Ways to Live a Life Without Excuses

All of us like to believe that we are always doing the best that we can. And in ways, that is true. However, it can be surprisingly common that we begin to go easy on ourselves and cut ourselves slack that we might not necessarily give to other people. When we are overwhelmed or tired, it is easy for us to say that we simply are not capable of doing the things that bring us joy or that get us closer to achieving our goals. Our obligations and responsibilities toward our societal roles and family roles may seem like all we have time for.

There may even be times when we are down on ourselves about what we can reasonably expect to accomplish. We might not believe in ourselves or our abilities, and because of that we squander precious hours not doing the things we need to do in order to achieve our goals. 

Part of this might be a lack of self-confidence, which can be addressed using the tools in this book. However, some of this tendency may actually be due to the fact that we are afraid of being successful. So afraid, that we might actually do things that will cause us to get in our own ways.

This might seem absurd, but have you ever felt a surge of fear when you were recognized for something you did well, or realized that you were good at something? Its like the moniker that with great power comes great responsibility. The truth is that we are aware that when we perform well at something, it puts pressure on us to continue to succeed, and other people begin to expect a certain level of performance from us. Whether our conscious mind can perceive it or not, its scary to be successful.

However, we have to be willing to face those fears head on and stop trying to convince ourselves that we are not capable of achieving our dreams. Sure, maybe it is easier not to attempt it because then we can live our lives without being faced with a long road of trial and error and responsibility. It can be so much easier to give away our power in a whirlwind of self-doubt. We make excuses not to succeed. We find reasons why it just isnt possible to work toward our true passions. We allow those excuses to dictate our lives and convince us that we will never be good enough. 

All of those things are dangerous. Especially when the truth is that each and every one of us has a higher potential that we can aspire to; a higher potential that deserves to be explored and nurtured, not shut down by the excuses we make to ourselves so that we dont have to deal with the responsibilities of success. 

If you are tired of getting in your own way, or of compromising for other people rather than steaming forward and focusing on your own passions and goals, then it is important for you to come up with a plan of action. What are you going to do to stop yourself from making excuses that allow you to fail without taking any personal responsibility for it? What are you going to do to stop compromising your vision for the expectations of others?Here are a few ideas. First of all, begin to really examine yourself and your thoughts. Learn to recognize when you are cutting yourself too much slack and letting yourself off the hook. The only way to truly become a master of your own destiny is to allow yourself to take responsibility for your future. If you fail, you have only yourself to blame. And that sort of blame really doesnt feel good. When you look back on your life and find that you constantly made excuses not to achieve the things you truly care about, you will see that there were choices that you could have made to better your situation. You didnt have to put others first at all times. You could have made time for yourself.

Instead of living a long life of regrets and living with a lack of fulfillment, take responsibility for yourself in the here and now. Practice mindfulness techniques that will provide you with a realistic interpretation of the events going on in your life. Take responsibility for every minute in your day and decide what is truly worth spending those extra moments on. 

Sure, you have responsibilities and obligations, whether to your job or to your family, and those can be important. But you are important too. And it is extra important to stop making excuses that allow you to let your life pass by before your eyes without you feeling the urgent need to step in and direct those minutes toward achieving your dreams!

Goal: Journal about all of the self-defeating thoughts that you have during the day and come up with affirmations to counter those thoughts. If you find yourself thinking something like, Im not smart enough to figure that out and succeed at my dream job, counter that thought with an affirmation such as I am smart and capable, and I can achieve anything I set my mind to. Do the same when you find yourself making excuses to take the easy way out. The easy road is not necessarily the right road to travel. If you want to master your destiny, make sure that you are taking care of your biggest obstacle tos, even if that includes yourself! 

Chapter 6 Meditation Complete Walk Through

To most people in todays day and age, it can be hard to survive in the hectic lifestyle of business and social engagements and still have a chance to stop and smell the roses. But when we are making so many demands on our time and on ourselves, it can make it impossible for us to find the inner peace and balance that is essential to our well-being in order to find happiness. 

The stress of everyday life can often feel insurmountable. When we have to surrender so much of our time and energy to tasks that may not necessarily serve us, it can make it difficult to make the time we need to allow ourselves to process what is going on in our lives and provide ourselves with comfort, peace, and a sense of loyalty to our own needs and desires. 

When we are disconnected from our own needs and desires, that can pose a serious problem. If we arent honoring ourselves in every way possible, that can make it difficult to move forward in the direction that we choose; making it difficult to serve our goals and work toward achieving our purpose. 

Fortunately, there are many ways that we can allow ourselves to surpass the barriers that we construct during our daily lives so that we can begin to get in touch with who we truly are and the things that we really want and need in order to be the best versions of ourselves possible. Meditation has been utilized for thousands of years as a way to help us to get in touch with our inner selves and with the unshakeable truths that we lock deep inside our unconscious minds. 

Being able to tap into those things may seem divine to some, and practical to others. However you choose to view meditation, there are many benefits to it that surpass any bias you may have about it. Most people may be afraid to attempt meditation, thinking you have to contort yourself into an uncomfortable pretzel and try to listen to silence and stillness that seems impossible to maintain. 

Most people have a very difficult time being able to sit still for long enough for meditation to make a difference. Our culture is generally discouraging of time to oneself, considering it selfish or unnecessary or antisocial. However, spending time on reflecting on ones life and circumstances may actually be one of the most necessary things one can do in order to master their destiny. 

Meditation is actually easier than you might think. It can be easy to believe that there simply is no time to allow yourself to process, though this can sometimes result in insomnia as all the thoughts of the day that had been forced into repression begin to surface just as you are allowing your mind to relax and drift into a sleep. What most people dont realize is that during meditation, it is actually okay and natural to experience your thoughts and feelings. The trick is in simply allowing them to exist and to experience them fully so that they are able to move on. 

We quiet our bodies and minds so that what we are dealing with can be experienced in a more genuine and pure form, so that these impressions and thoughts will not contribute to us staying stuck. When we are able to confront and face our thoughts and feelings, they no longer have as much power over us. And when we are able to truly begin to use meditation as a tool for self-exploration, it can provide us with insights that we may never have thought possible. 

Meditation comes in many shapes and forms, and for people who have 

a hard time initiating meditation for themselves, it can be useful to seek out resources that can teach you more about how to use meditation. Many websites offer videos and tutorials that will help to guide you in empowering meditation strategies. There are also books and CDs out there that can be useful in undergoing meditation for beginners who may not feel confident undertaking it on their own. 

The first thing you need to do for meditation to work for you is to put down all of your pre-existing biases about it. Meditation isnt just something that weird hippies do in order to feel like everything is groovy. It is a useful tool that has helped to keep the mind and body aligned in the process of taking power over your actions and future. So get that thought out of your head if it is there. 

You should also know that meditation is not hard. In fact, its the total opposite of difficult. All you really have to do is to make sure that you are comfortable and relaxed, preferably in a quiet space where you can focus on your breathing and allow your thoughts to come and pass as they naturally would. When you are in a relaxed state of mind, it is easier to see these thoughts and feelings in an objective way, and being objective to your own sensory input can provide you with deep insights about your body and your life. 

For a beginner, meditation should be kept simple and comfortable. Get a cushion or a pillow that is very comfortable for you to sit on. You could even lie back if that suits you better. Once you are sufficiently comfortable, you should close your eyes and allow yourself to get relaxed. This is similar to getting ready for sleep as you allow your breathing to happen naturally and effortlessly. Dont get too caught up in not letting yourself have thoughts or emotions; the beginners meditation should be kept simple. 

Once you are comfortable with the practice of relaxing and clearing your mind, allowing your breathing to come as an organic process and not something that you are too fixated on, then you may begin to feel more comfortable delving into other types of meditation techniques. Meditation comes in many varieties, and if you are hoping to delve deeper into the meditation practice, then there are a few different directions that you could go in to do so.

Mindfulness meditation is one of the most popular forms of meditation, as mindfulness can be very helpful to anybody who is hoping to improve their life and feel more at peace. To undertake a mindfulness meditation, begin with the first steps outlined above. Get comfortable and relaxed. Next, allow yourself to become aware of your chest rising and falling as it breathes, and the feelings at the tip of your fingers and toes as you sit there. Contemplate the present moment and simply experience its wonder. The way your fan may be humming, or the sound of the birds chirping outside, or the soft feeling of the surface youre sitting on. Allow yourself to take in all of the little things about the moment that you are in right at that moment. This is how you succeed at mindfulness meditation. 

This type of meditation can be utilized for people who have a difficult time staying grounded, and has actually been found to be helpful for people who have experienced certain types of trauma as well. It is a great way to help you to develop your mind and body connection if you find that it is something that you need to work on. You have to be fully aware of yourself before you can step into your dream vision. As mentioned before, nothing sabotages us quite as skillfully as we sabotage ourselves!

Another type of meditation is known commonly as concentration meditation. To perform concentration meditations, you 

focus your full attention on one single thing whether that thing is a specific area in the room, or something physical like the way that you are breathing. This type of meditation is very useful in problem solving or in helping you to get your mind off of the things that are getting you down. When you focus on a specific thought or problem for too long, it can cause a lot of strain on the mind. By directing your thoughts and attention elsewhere, you are giving your mind a chance to interrupt negative thought patterns and anxiety to allow yourself a chance to recharge.

If you are a beginner, dont be too discouraged if it is hard for you to maintain your focus on the point that you have chosen for a long time. It takes a lot of practice to build up to maintaining your focus on a specific thing for a long period of time. Go ahead and go easy on yourself at first, starting in three-minute increments and gradually increasing that amount over time. 

Concentration meditations help you to stay focused on one object or action so that it becomes easier for you to allow your thoughts to pass by you. It may help to imagine your thinking as a wave that should be allowed to wash over you and pass by without sweeping you away in it. They will come and go just like the tide, and when you are ready to return to them, you can. Until then, concentration meditations can provide you with a vantage point from which to view your thoughts objectively and gain insight into yourself and your life, providing you with a sense of empowerment that will truly grant you agency over your life and mastery over your dreams!

Goal: Take time out every day, starting with a simple three to five minutes, to meditate. Find a quiet, calm place in your home where you can allow yourself to close your eyes and get comfortable. Begin by simply closing your eyes and allowing yourself to feel confident in creating a safe and comforting space for yourself. Once you are pleased with this arrangement, you can begin trying more advanced types of meditation. Begin with a simple concentration meditation, where you close your eyes and focus on your breathing and your breathing alone. Thoughts may come to the surface, and that is okay. Simply acknowledge that they are there, and allow them to go on their way without trying to cling onto them. Do this with all your thoughts for about three minutes, until you can open your eyes, take a deep breath, and feel refreshed. 

You can alternate between mindfulness meditations and concentration meditations as well, by closing your eyes, or even keeping them open, and focusing on the present moment and all of the things you are feeling and experiencing at any given time. Mindfulness meditations can be done anywhere at any time, so feel free to use them if you arent feeling grounded!

Chapter 7 Challenge Yourself to Walk on Water

Sometimes it seems like the longer we spend daydreaming about our goals, the more out of reach they become. It can be defeating to realize that what we want to do is going to require tremendous efforts on our part, and that effort may seem out of our league. These types of realizations can leave us feeling defeated and unmotivated, even before we have taken the first step in trying!

Defeatist attitudes are the fastest way to destroy our own happiness. Sure, dreaming big is often discouraged because big dreams require a lot of work and a lot of resources, but that doesnt mean that we cant accomplish great things, even as a team of one person! What it means is that we have to look outside of ourselves - beyond our brainwashed minds telling us that all we have in life are limitations, and realize that when we break the glass ceiling over our heads that keeps us trapped in our own discouragement, anything is possible!

However, for us to actually make any headway in achieving our goals, we have to do so with a practical and measured approach. We hear all the time about the rare genius who was able to take an idea and turn it into a wildly successful reality. We often view these people with awe and disbelief; as if they are larger than life and it is somehow a fluke or a strange event that had contributed to their success. We are all impressed by people who are able to go out there and achieve the goals that they set for themselves.

But what most of these people will tell you is that there is nothing all that special about them. The reason they were able to accomplish their goals had less to do with opportunities and connections and networking, and everything to do with their own ability to plan ahead and see things through to the end. Their goals were achieved because they had the secret to walking on water figured out. They knew how to break their goals down and work on them, bit by bit, until they were accomplished. 

And thats exactly what you have to do too. It isnt impossible to achieve your dreams. In fact, all it takes is some serious planning. Start out with looking at your end goal. Visualize it and write it out in detail so that you know exactly what it is that you are aiming for.

Go backwards from there. For example, if your dream is to have a successful business, what is it that you have to do to get there? Well, for a business to be successful, you will need good clients. To have good clients, you will need a product and a service that they can trust. To do that, you need to hire a good team that gets the job done and have a product that people are willing to pay for. For that type of product, you need to first get a patent on said product and have it developed and tested out first. To do that, you need to research patents and brainstorm ideas for the types of products you would be interested in providing to consumers. And no matter where you are in the stages of your life and in developing your business model, you can definitely put a few hours aside per week to go toward research!

Start with the small aspects of your big plan and keep knocking them out of the park one by one. Break the goal down into small, easy to digest pieces that are easier for you to understand and work toward accomplishing. This is truly the key to being able to walk on water and achieve things that other people might think that it is impossible for you to do. Everybody wants to be able to do great things in life, but without understanding the nature of achieving goals and how to get from point A to point B, there is almost no point in even considering such goals. 

You have to be willing to put the work and dedication into making sure that you have a blueprint to success all laid out and ready to go. Dont stress yourself out worrying about the big picture and feeling overwhelmed by the huge dream you want to reach. Instead, break that huge dream down into smaller dreams that ultimately come together to form the big picture. That is a simple and sure-fire way to getting your goals accomplished and turning your dreams into a reality!

Goal: Instead of being overwhelmed by the amount of work needed to put into achieving a dream that looks too good to be true, try buying a notebook and writing down your goal. Think backwards about the steps that you have to take to achieve that goal and break the big ideal down into smaller goals that can be achieved over time. If you dont want to go backward, thats fine, you can also try to do it from the bottom up. Just do your best to make sure that you have the insight necessary to make the planning process a success. No matter how difficult it may seem to achieve your goals, it is nothing compared to the negativity we place on our own shoulders when we convince ourselves that what we want to accomplish is impossible, and too big for one single person to do 

on their own! Thats not true. You can walk on water and create the reality of your choosing, simply by learning how to plan and break your goals down in manageable chunks!

Chapter 8 Stay Clear of Toxic People and Behaviors

No matter where you are at in life, whether you are already a successful person in your chosen field or if you are simply struggling to get your goals figured out, toxic people and situations are everywhere. When we are unable to identify these toxic people and behaviors, it can be a huge issue, one that is extremely detrimental not only to our well-being, but to our future as well.

Toxic people do not want to see you succeed. They want to bring you down to their level and convince you that you are incapable of doing the things that you set out to do. They are so mired in negativity that the only way they think that they will be able to survive is to spread that negativity to others. This gives them temporary relief from their own miserable lives, but it is never enough to make them truly happy. What they will do instead is come back and keep picking at you until they are satisfied that you will never accomplish anything good. 

They do not want to believe that anything positive can happen, either to themselves or to others. They do not want to see other people happy because it makes them bitter. They will often be manipulative people who are out to further their own agendas and work themselves into positions of power over others, because most toxic people see the world in terms of power and control. They have a hard time getting along with others because they have a shallow ability for empathy.

These people can show up anywhere, and it is especially harmful if they are people that you already know and trust. It may take years to identify toxic behaviors in the people that you care about, but once you do and you are given a break from their influence, you may find yourself feeling better than you have in years. 

Toxic people and behaviors are dangerous to our mental health and well-being. They make us doubt ourselves and put our self-worth into question over sometimes ridiculous things. It is hard for them to communicate in a healthy way and we may find ourselves being blamed for their mistakes, or being made to feel responsible for their emotional lives when in truth, only they are responsible for themselves and that is the way it will always remain, no matter how bitter they may be.

The reason toxic people are an issue when it comes to becoming the master of your own destiny is because toxic people often like to meddle where they dont belong. If they see that you are trying to make your life better, they will bring you down. If they see that you are capable of things that they dont think they themselves are capable of, they will belittle your achievements and talents in order to make themselves feel better and to prevent you from succeeding. If a toxic person is threatened by you in any way, then they will do whatever it takes to help themselves feel better again. 

This can mean disaster to a person who is sensitive to the criticism of others, or who does not know how to identify toxic behaviors in other people and instead trusts those around them to be constructive and helpful and honest. 

If you are able to identify any indication of toxic behaviors in someone else, avoid them. These are not people who will help you on your way to becoming the master of your destiny. They simply cant, because they want to be the master of your destiny. You are better off without them. 

Goal: Become very familiar with toxic behaviors and learn how to identify toxic and manipulative people in your life. There are many resources that can help you to do so, and the more you know about these types of behaviors the better prepared you will be in the future when confronted with situations you may find yourself in with toxic characters. Journal about toxic behaviors you have seen and witnessed both in your own life and in movies or books. Also think honestly and critically about ways that you might also be toxic and behave in ways that are unhealthy toward other people as you attempt to accomplish your goals. Introspection can be difficult, but if you identify your negative behaviors and address them, then you are a true superhero. Once you have identified toxic behaviors in others, you can try to set firm boundaries with these people. If the boundaries you set are violated, it may be time to say good bye to the toxic person in your life once and for all. 

Chapter 9 Building Your Support Network

As with anything, 

a good support network is everything. When it comes to empowering your life, it can be so difficult to find the resources that you need at times. The key that many successful people arent telling you is that they became successful because they surrounded themselves with other successful people.

Humans are social animals. We are constantly taking cues from the people around us about how to behave. If we are surrounded by caring and generous people, we become more caring and generous ourselves, whether subconsciously or consciously. When we are surrounded by negative, defeatist people all the time, then we start to become more negative and defeatist ourselves. This can have a huge impact on whether or not we are priming ourselves for success. When were not priming ourselves for success, we are priming ourselves for failure. It is that simple.

You should always think about the types of energy that your peer group is subjecting you to. If they are a positive group, then you are going to be more prone to having positive thoughts and interactions, whether you are interacting with that group or not. If they are negative, you can expect that you will begin to act and feel more negatively as time wears on. 

It is extremely important to ensure that you are giving yourself the chance to interact with other successful people. When you surround yourself with people who are displaying the characteristics that you want to have yourself, it becomes easier for you to develop those characteristics simply by spending time with those people. They rub off on you in a most wonderful way, priming you to succeed in the ways you hope to succeed simply by being achievers. 

Of course, its not the only thing you have to do to be a successful person, and it also helps to have a support network of friends and family that are completely supportive of you and who you can hold yourself accountable to. When you are talking to people about your plans and they are asking questions about how you are doing and how things are coming along, you become more motivated to get to work and make sure that you are not letting them down.

Having people that hold us accountable to achieving our goals may seem cringe-worthy to those of us who are used to being a lower grade version of ourselves especially if we are used to making plans and not following through with them. But by following the advice in this book, you will be well on your way to taking the steps that need taken in order for you to be the best version of yourself possible and to provide yourself with the confidence you need to believe that remodeling your destiny is possible. 

Goal: Make a list of the people in your life who are do-ers and achievers. The people you know will support you no matter what and hold you accountable for achieving your goals. If you havent told them about your plans and goals yet, you should make it a priority to do so, and let them know that you would appreciate their support in this new and exciting venture in your life!

Chapter 10 Summing Up Everything Together

Becoming the master of your destiny has never been so simple. What it really comes down to is becoming a disciplined individual who is able to hold down a daily routine that helps you to work toward your goals. With a good routine, anything is possible!

Every chapter in this book has been written to outline something that you can use to utilize your passions and become the best version of yourself possible. The best way for you to become the master of your destiny is to become a master of discipline.

Routine may seem boring and unnecessary, but the fact is that the most successful people in the world follow a strict schedule. They manage to make the most out of their time because they know what their time is worth. By learning great time management skills and setting the time aside that they need daily to further their goals. 

You can bring the spark of your passion forward with every step you take forward in your day. Structure is the key to success, and if you are able to utilize it in your life, you will have no excuse not to master your destiny.

The best way to begin is by examining what you want to accomplish and carving out the time to do so. What is your week going to look like? What about your month? 

Making large end-goals to work toward can make it easier to break those goals into smaller pieces, ultimately providing yourself with a good framework with which to get things done.

But dont just make a mental note about what you want to do. Youre going to want to make sure that you are putting down your goals and scheduling your day, week, and month into a calendar. Writing down your goals makes it more likely for you to follow through on them. Not only that, but it is a physical reminder for you to stay on track and get focused!

Its important to understand that sometimes, life simply gets in the way of structures and plans, but that doesnt mean that you should give up on structure altogether. Instead of getting discouraged when you arent able to follow through on your goals for the day, maybe determine exactly what it was that caused the hold up and make a note of it so that you can do better next time. Simply reschedule the goal that you werent able to follow through on so you can get it done later. Never give up!

It is only when you stop trying that you give up your power. But with a resolve of steel and the structure to get you there, there will be no stopping you from becoming the master of your own destiny!

Goal: At the end of the month, sit down and envision where you want to be at the end of the month that is approaching. Write out daily, weekly, and monthly goals on a calendar that you will have regular access to. Do the same thing at the beginning of each week, especially if you are still trying to get in the habit of having a structured daily routine. Having a foundation to work from will make it that much easier for you to achieve your dreams and become the master of your destiny!

Conclusion

Every single one of us has a vision for our future that we would like to turn into a reality. No matter what those goals might be, there are several steps in common that anybody can take to make it possible to achieve those goals and make our dreams of the future into something tangible.

We are all capable of taking the steps that we need to take in order to become the best versions of ourselves possible. Although it can be a challenge, there is nothing that a dedication to our own self-improvement cant solve. Every improvement, no matter how incremental, can help us to move mountains and achieve things we may never have believed possible before. 

If you want to become the master of your destiny, by following the advice in this book, you will find yourself well on the way to accomplishing the goals that you may have been too afraid to pursue before your awakening. It is more than just possible to accomplish your goals; it is vital. We were each born with a special purpose, with talents and passions that were finely tuned to creating a better world and a happy life. If we arent doing everything in our power to see those passions translate into our reality, then the truth is that we are not only robbing ourselves, but we are robbing the rest of the world of the beauty that only we can bring into the world. 

Fortunately, if you have made it this far into the book, then you will know by now that you are more than capable of mastering your destiny. Taking the steps you need to take to be the best version of yourself will completely change your life. All you have to do is believe it.